“You can’t pull off that lipstick”
“They’re only that successful because they were lucky”
“Sometimes we just have to settle for what we can get”
I think I speak for a lot of people when I say, we spend a lot of our time asking for validation and permission.
“Am I good enough to be successful?”
“Can I pull off this dress or make-up which is ‘slightly out there’ or not something I’d usually wear?”
“Am I even allowed want to be something other than the doctor or MBA graduate that I know the family would be proud of?”
As time has gone on though, it’s become apparent that often when we ask the opinion’s of others, we’ve already made a decision ourselves; we’re simply asking for validation of our own choice.
Luck– Some people feel they’re lacking in it.
Others say all their success is down to it.
I believe neither.
You make your own ‘luck’ where luck is the moment when preparation meets opportunity. We just have to be willing to see that opportunity and often we don’t recognise it because opportunity seems camouflaged in a job-loss, a failed exam or a disagreement.
Have you done this before?
Have you ever had an instinctual answer to a question that has been niggling at you for ages but you’ve still gone on to ask others what they thought about it?
Here’s What I’ve learnt from this:
1. I lose confidence in my own instinct and decision-making every time I don’t listen to my own gut feeling.
Because I end up becoming so dependent on the validation that I‘m ‘doing the right thing’ when actually, the only way of knowing is to boldly take that leap of faith into the unknown.
The ‘right thing’ for one person may be completely the opposite for another.
It all comes down to perspective. And there will be no pleasing everyone.
2. It’s actually quite rude to constantly ask someone else’s opinion and then follow their advice!
And another reason why we shouldn’t rely on other people’s opinions?
Most of the time the people we ask advice from are the people we hope will have our best interests at heart.
What we have to remember though is ultimately their advice and their words of wisdom is based upon their own filters of how they see the world. These filters are made up from their own experiences, perceptions but also dependent on their own fears.
So although a person may be looking out for you, their fears for you may be based on the fears they have for themselves & it is up to you to follow through with what you know to be right.
What Fears Are You Facing This Month?
Ana | The Asian Destination