I like to think that life is a balance between being selfish & selfless.
Much of this life, we are to taught to be selfless. School assemblies are full of parables showing us the importance of being selfless.
And I don’t dispute that.
Life IS all about giving; in giving, we receive.
However I feel what’s missing is that we aren’t shown the importance of looking after ourselves too.
Being selfish has negative connotations. We don’t want to be the selfish person. But sometimes you need to be.
Can we give too much?
Yes, of course.
I’ve learnt the hard way that there are consequences in giving too much. We end up giving, giving our time, our precious energy into things that we feel we just can’t say no to but in the end, we end up losing ourselves.
One of my best friends gave me some food for thought the other day.
‘You’re the person we know would drop everything for a friend’
Do I really want to be that person anymore?
Don’t get me wrong, I love knowing that I can be help for my friends, that they see me as the one they can count on for advice, or to listen or to help.
But do I really want to be seen as a person that ‘would drop everything’?
She didn’t mean it quite as literally of course, but it did get me thinking.
I do find it difficult to put my needs as a priority. Sometimes it’s a welcome distraction to help out a friend than to focus on my own issues. But for me, that’s become an alternative source of procrastination; being too busy helping other people feel their feelings, rather than take the time to feel & resolve my own.
To put it differently.
How many of you have a problem making a doctor’s/dentist’s appointment for yourself?
I bet you have no trouble at all telling other friends, family, relatives to go? AM I right? For some reason, it is so difficult to put ourselves first.
We need to look after ourselves in order to be able to look out for others.
I know most people tune out of the airplane safety procedures.
But remember if there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, before helping other people.
Life is a balance between being selfish and selfless.
I’ll let you know how I get on.
Do you find it difficult to be selfish?
As always, I’d love to hear from you.
Have a blessed day & #HappyJune💛
Ana | The Asian Destination
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